It started with the Big Bang, the laws of physics went into effect, galaxies formed, then stars, cooling gasses around our star formed planets, including the Earth, volcanoes spewed lava forming land, it rained a lot, the land masses went up and down, life began, a lot of stuff happened, humans evolved, some went to the Marquesas in the south Pacific, something must have happened there because they got in canoes and went out into the ocean (I don’t think I would have done that), they found some islands without people, stopped there and had a culture, more of them came later, then people from Tahiti came around 750AD and either killed the Marquesans or drove them into the mountains (oops, there goes the neighborhood--literally), the Tahitians now called themselves Hawaiians and various groups from different islands fought and killed each other on and off for a long time, the Maui king conquered all the islands except Hawaii (the big one) which was a mistake because those guys came over and killed most of his guys (some were baked alive… ouch), white people showed up (they always do), and then kept coming (they always do), brought disease with them (they always did), took over the place (very bad guests), brought in missionaries (figures), followed by businessmen (don’t get me started) who planted sugar and pineapples, then brought in cheap labor from Asia, and then saw that, hey, the weather on Maui is pretty good, so they built some hotels and adventurous tourists came, then more tourists (that happens), and then more hotels, and more tourists, and well then… here we are.

Or in this case, there we were. Twelve meeting planners (and guests) on a Cramer Collection Client Education Trip, ready to work. Our DMC partner, Island Partners Hawaii was there to assist, and before I say anything else about our trip, I have to say that IPH is FANTASTIC! More about them as we go on.

Our first hotel host was the 508-room Sheraton Maui. I was glad to see it had survived the tsunami filmed in the recent Matt Damon movie, Hereafter.   It not only survived, it looked great and has the best location on Ka’anapali Beach. Their staff was super-friendly and super-competent, and we all agreed that the hotel would be a great spot for a meeting (12,000 square feet of indoor function space) or incentive (especially their deluxe ocean view rooms and suites built on Black Rock).

Our first night was a welcome reception on the lawn right next to the beach. IPH and the Sheraton treated us to a mini-version of one of their signature themed events with really great food, beautiful decorations, constantly changing musical presentations, some larger than life characters from Hawaiian mythology, all set against the backdrop of cliff divers, a traditional fire ceremony, and a Maui sunset. Nice. As an extra bonus we got to see the Giants win the pennant while sipping drinks at the pool bar (Go Giants!).

We were treated the next day to a catamaran snorkeling cruise. We left right from the beach and cruised for about 45 minutes up the coast to Honolu’a Bay, one of the best spots on the island. I love snorkeling and there was only one other boat besides ours over acres of coral. It was a calm, clear, sunny day. I was in snorkeling heaven. My peak experience: Being off by myself and watching five rather large (maybe three feet long) neon blue fish work as a team to try and herd and confuse a school of about 200 smaller silver fish (each about a foot long) in order to get, well… breakfast. I am not sure what the predator fish were called, but their name is probably also around three feet long with way too many vowels.

The school was doing their best to confuse and elude the predators, and so swirled like a tornado, or split into clouds and then rejoined in a different pattern, with flashes of silver every time they turned toward the sun. It was a survival ballet, and the best part (for me) was that the predator fish decided to use me as part of their hunting strategy and would herd the school towards me in order to confuse and scare them even more. Every so often I would find myself smack dab in the middle of a swirling mass of silver and fear with hundreds of fish eyes looking at me saying… who the hell are you, what do you want, and can’t you see this is serious?

That night IPH took us into Lahaina for a luau. Now, my first thought when someone says we are going to a luau is, uh-oh. Based on my experience, and with my full apologies to the Hawaiian people and the Hawaiian tourist industry, they are usually kind of cheesy, and besides, what is up with poi anyway? BUT… I had not been to one in many years and so was pleasantly surprised to see that the tourist version of a luau had evolved and was actually very entertaining, the food was very good, and unlimited drinks were included. I stayed away from poi as I assumed it has not changed much.

The unlimited drinks factor may have had something to do with my growing appreciation of the luau. The sweet, umbrella-type drinks are not my style, and they did not have much “punch,” but this could be overcome by ordering double-shots of vodka with beer chasers. Those dancers were great.

I think I was the only one at the luau who was trying to follow the story performed on stage, and so for those who have read my blogs and gotten a glimpse into the dark recesses of my mind, here goes…

OK- Pele’ the fire goddess comes to earth and falls in love with a mortal King. They do it. She has to leave him on goddess business and he is in such despair he kills himself. Pele’ is busy, so she asks her sister to go to the world of the dead and bring this guy back to life. She does, but then also falls in love with this guy, and they do it. Pele’ comes back, finds out what has been going on, sets this poor guy on fire, sending him back to the dead again. Pele’ and her sister are mad at each other and duke it out for a while, but then realize they are sisters after all, reconcile, and go on as before. The luau narrator then said that Hawaiians take the meaning of this story to be about the importance of family, forgiveness and reconciliation.

Family, Forgiveness and Reconciliation? What about the family of the guy who was set on fire and died twice? What about forgiveness for him? I mean come on, doing it with two sisters, not to mention goddesses? You gotta forgive him for that! Does anyone else besides me ask these questions?

On Day 3 we bid fond farewell to the Sheraton Maui and headed out to our next hotel host, The Grand Wailea. On the way we were treated by IPH to a great surprise. They had told us about a Cirque du Soleil type show called Ulalena. Based on Hawaiian mythology, it  performs in a specially built theatre in Lahaina. We stopped at the theatre to look at it as a potential off-property group venue and IPH had arranged for the theatre troupe to perform four of their musical numbers. We were simply blown away. If you bring a group to this side of Maui, you MUST either take them to the show, or have parts of the show come to your event. Rivals anything in Vegas, but much more intimate. You’ll see.

IPH also showed us some film featuring several of their signature themed parties. They are way beyond most DMCs in creativity and capability. I wish I were a meeting planner so I could have an event in Hawaii and I could hire them to do all of my events. I will have to settle with being the guy who knows the best of the best and introduces them to you, our customers. 

Ahh… the Grand Wailea. Now you’re talkin’. 780 rooms and 100k of meeting space, including a 28k ballroom (the largest in the state), plus a 40k square foot spa, and a giant pool, legendary waterslides, lazy river, salt water lagoon, cabana thing that sits right on the beach. I cannot imagine anyone in the world not loving this place. The GW sales staff were terrific hosts, treated all of us to spa treatments (ooh) or golf, great meals, and made us feel like part of the family. Good people.

Our trip went very fast, but I think the attendees would agree that it was all great stuff. As in all of my blogs, this was just the tip of the iceberg… hmm, maybe not the best metaphor for Hawaii… so please contact us first before you do anything, anywhere, and we’ll provide you with some great options for hotels, resorts and DMCs anywhere in the world. I say this with modesty, but in truth, we are really good at what we do and really easy to work with.

Go Giants!